Obama Said To Be Considering Offer Of Post-Presidential Position As Aslan


“Obamaaaaaaa.” Lucy whispered.

“Safe?” said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest, quoting Mr. Beaver in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

The White House spokesperson was responding to a request for comment on the rumours – swirling like a Narnian fog – that President Obama has been approached in a closet by a creature half goat, half human, who asked if he would care to take over the position of a magical defeater of evil (in the form of a lion) when his tenure as President was completed.

Initially Earnest responded to the topical probe with deflection, citing the well-established White House protocol of not being allowed to comment on interactions with beings from other realms, but when the question was rephrased into the more general: “Would someone fitting President Obama’s description make a good magic lion who appears whenever we need him most?” he proved more voluble.

“Yes. As two terms have shown us, much like the mythical lion this President reflects back at individuals – and organizations – their own true selves. Those with fear in their hearts accuse him of having the same, while those with an abiding hope see in him a kindred spirit. Equally, and importantly, much like Aslan he has impeccable timing and generally great hair. I’m sure he would prove as good a leader in other worlds as he has here, and perhaps better as Narnia’s governmental system does not employ a congress.”

When asked what exactly President Obama’s duties as Aslan would be, were he – in theory – to become a fictional character bestowed with a heavy Christ-metaphor, Mr. Earnest hewed back to the vague and once more quoted C.S Lewis’s seminal classic: “He’ll be coming and going…One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down–and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.”

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