Melania Trump Wins Right To Wear Sponsored Racing Suit

In an attempt to capitalize on being married to the least-liked and most-photographed president in United States history, Melania Trump has announced that she will begin wearing a NASCAR-style sponsored racing suit. She cited the benefits of being able to display multiple corporate logos at once, and sustain a fire of over a thousand degrees Celsius for over 10 seconds, making it now possible to attend to her husband while he is tanning.

“Nonsense,” she responded when asked if this wasn’t a callous commercialization of the role of the First Lady. “I’ve always loved Dupont, and Quaker State, and whatever a Chevrolet is.”

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Categories: Life

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