Canada’s Wonderland Ride Meant To Simulate Housing Market Closed Over Safety Concerns

Hkg5089991A Canada’s Wonderland ride that has been building since the early 90’s, is now closed and its future uncertain after concerns were raised regarding the overall safety and integrity of the gravity-defying structure. 

“The intention of the ride was to mimic the thrills and spills of the Toronto housing market,” Says Robbie Knievel, who lent his expertise in the art of crashes to the project. “But we encountered difficulty in replicating the section where, following the precipitous climb, the ride is held for a few moments of stasis at the very top of its arc. This was meant to allow the riders a chance to look around and reassure each other that there was no way this thing was ever coming down, and even have the opportunity to get off the ride at the top if they so desired. Unfortunately this proved impossible to safely construct.”

With millions of dollars invested, Canada’s Wonderland admits this is a blow to their hopes for a profitable year, but stress that, unlike certain Canadian financial institutions, they don’t want to make money off of encouraging people to risk their lives. 

“While this ride promised incredible highs, it also brought with it unacceptable levels of risk,” says Janine Freely, Head of The Curve at the popular Toronto attraction. “With that in mind we are cancelling this project, and have instead decided to use the space for an extension of the lazy river, which everyone can enjoy.”

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