Revlon’s Newest Concealer To Be Called ‘Shades Of Free Speech’

It comes in white, really white, and alt white; and is being advertised as able to cover up even the most unsightly of opinions. Just in time for this fall’s intolerance season, Revlon has released a new shade of concealer that is sure to become a must have in every racist’s handbag.

“Free speech is for everyone,” said a Revlon spokesperson at a glitzy unveiling in New York on Wednesday, while demonstrating how the new concealer can be used to cover up a swastika tattoo on one’s forehead, for example. “Do you suffer from facial bigotry? Flare-ups of intolerance? Scarring from acne, or calls for ethnic cleansing? Well now with Shades Of Free Speech we’ve got you covered! And yes, that pun is as intentional as the president’s equivocations this week.” 

The new concealer comes in a variety of handy sizes, from a small compact that can fit in your angrily clenched fist, to a roll-on stick that can easily be applied under a baseball helmet while shouting epithets. There is even a ‘total -coverage’ white hood available, which the company’s website says is: “For those days that everyone has once in awhile; when your beliefs are so odious you would rather not be identified.”

While Revlon says that pricing has yet to be officially set, they were able to indicate that the range would be from $19.99 for the smaller tubes, all the way up to the cost of national peace for the tubs large enough to cover a six-foot swastika.



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