Anti-Immigration Protesters In Vancouver Can’t Decide Whether To Have Thai, Indian, Or Chinese For Lunch

“We’re here to promote Canadian Values,” said anti-immigration protest organizer John Munschies as he waved a flag emblazoned with an elderly couple flying south for the winter. “And I have to say it is making me more than a little peckish. What’ll it be boys? Chinese? Maybe just a kebab? Here Jimmy, hold my flag, I’m going to read the menu on this Indian joint.”

Local vendors said they would serve the men, despite their angry rhetoric.

“Yeah, their money’s good here. I don’t discriminate, not even against discriminators,” says Ahmed Moussani, owner/operator of an Ali-Baba’s take-out on Robson Street.

“And I feel like maybe if I make them a good kebab, I can reach them in a way words can’t. Sort of say, directly to their stomachs, ‘Hey. Asshole. You like that? You know where it comes from? Turkey. But you can get it right here in Canada because: Immigration.'” 

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