Rise Of Online Hate Groups Leads Canadian Government To Consider Emergency Grammar Lessons

editing-1756958_960_720Saying that while it is no surprise to learn hate groups are alive and well right here in Canada, a spokesperson for the Prime Minister’s Office today stated that what is almost as worrying is the percentage of these groups which are unable to differentiate between their, there, and they’re.  

“In a sample survey of 100 Facebook groups that had a Canadian flag superimposed on a black background with flames around the border, we found that on average these forums were operating at the level of a mean-spirited third-grader who gets too much screen time.”

With this in mind, the PMO today revealed plans to have all online forums pass an English comprehension test as part of their registration process.

“There’s a lot of talk about Canadian values these days, but one of those values is knowing when a sentence becomes a run-on,” said Prime Minister Trudeau, himself a former teacher who has been unwavering in his dislike of all caps statements. “The fact is there is an inextricable link between caring enough to use the proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation; and simply caring enough.”     

While the plan remains in its nascent stages, both Facebook and Twitter have indicated they are willing to co-operate with the instigation of a mandatory skills test. As word of this hit the meme streets, recriminations were swift. 

“THEEZ ALEETS R FING WITH OURN,” said a twitter user who goes by the handle @bakedalberta. “THERE RULEZ WONT STOP ME. SKREW TRUDOP. SKEW ASLANISTS. FORCED GLOBLE IZM. YOU NIGHT THE RITE!!@!~”     

As this article went to press, Twitter’s public relations arm said it was working on assisting users like @bakedalberta but was “frankly unsure where to begin.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s