Cons Say Old Photo Of Trudeau Drinking Timmies Obviously Shows He Hates Canadians

Justin TrudeauAs the news broke today that a Tim Hortons franchise intends to recoup profits lost to the recently raised minimum wage by forcing their employees to rent headsets from them for $13.75/hr, there was a surprising figure who seemed to be bearing the worst of the fallout from this corporate misstep: Justin Trudeau.

“Just look at him,” said Andrew Scheer, pausing midway through a solid everyman slug of Country Time coffee (ostensibly his ‘new fav’) gesturing at a photo of Trudeau rolling up the rim to beat the pants off Stephen Harper. “There he is, looking great I’ll give him that, but drinking a double-double like it wasn’t percolated directly through the grinding maw of an unfeeling corporate empire that stands with its boot firmly on the neck of the working class. Clearly this man hates Canadians almost as much as he does dandruff and wide-leg pants.”

Many Conservatives were quick to draw a comparison to the evolving situation with Joshua Boyle, in which the Prime Minister proved unable to foretell the future and took the reckless step of having his picture taken with a family recently freed after five years in captivity. 

“He just doesn’t think,” said Senator Linda Frum. “Hair, selfies, hair, selfies, he just doesn’t think. Hijab, niqab, carbon tax, he just doesn’t think. Battery low, battery low, batterrrrrrryyyy looooooowwwwwwww.” An aide arrived and whisked the senator off to a recharge bank. 

“As she was saying,” continued Scheer, appearing from a manhole in the floor, “Trudeau needs to be more circumspect. I think what today made clear is that drinking Tim Hortons just shows how out of touch with today’s news stories the Prime Minister’s past is.”

1 reply »

  1. Just so you have the full story about Timmies, here is what we learned when we stopped at the one in Miramichi, NB:

    “On August 26, 2014, Burger King agreed to purchase Tim Hortons for US $11.4 billion; the chain became a subsidiary of the Oakville-based holding company Restaurant Brands International on December 15, 2014, which is majority-owned by Brazilian investment firm 3G Capital”.

    So we stopped for a couple of cups of 3G Capital coffee and were on our way. Sorry, Canadians, but Timmies just didn’t do it for Seattle cappucino afficiandos.

    You can read about it here:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s