Guy Who Doesn’t Like Government Involvement Suddenly Very Interested In Redistribution

The same man who yesterday was advocating for the dismantlement of the welfare state, taking issue with the number of immigrants the Canadian government annually accepts, and arguing that taxation is essentially theft, has just read yesterday’s think piece in the NY Times about the necessity of the redistribution of sex. And is fully onboard. 

“I’m all for it,” says Tim Bancroft, setting aside his copy of Milton Friedman’s Free To Choose, as he leans into the conversation. “Clearly there’s a fundamental need that isn’t being met here. What do we have a government for, if not to serve the people? When can we start this redistribution? I’m free now.”

“We’re already giving people housing, and food, and subsidized daycare,” Tim adds, conveniently forgetting that in recent weeks he has repeatedly railed against those same programs in multiple posts to various social media platforms. “Why wouldn’t we organize the even distribution of sex? That is probably the single greatest idea I’ve ever heard. Which political party is going to make that happen? I’m one of those.”

Challenged on the blind spots that loom large in his extremely specific brand of socialism, Tim explains we aren’t looking at it from the right fringe.

“It’s like the writer says right there in italics in this gorgeous article that is a total 10: Sometimes the extremists and radicals and weirdos see the world more clearly than the respectable and moderate and sane. Sounds like its my turn to talk. Education? Healthcare? Employment? That’s every man for himself. Sex? That’s everyone for the man who feels left out.”


Photo: rez_art / 123RF Stock Photo



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