“I can see the looks on their faces now,” Prime Minister Trudeau said, standing in line at Renewables ‘R’ Us, with a brand new, state-of-the-art, future-friendly wind farm; complete with real blades that spin and make actual electricity, all without batteries or burning anything. “They are just going to be so thrilled.”
Adding that he also got them a bottle of B.C. wine, a wall map of Quebec, and a gift certificate to the LCBO, Trudeau said that he really felt like he nailed it this year with a province he admitted things had gotten a little choppy with lately.
“Look, I love Alberta, and Alberta knows that. But it’s time for them to start thinking about their future, and clearly that doesn’t involve digging around in the backyard forever. So I bought them this sweet wind farm. It comes with green lights that glow when you’re saving the planet, and a pre-recorded message from David Suzuki – who I know Alberta already has a thing for – saying thanks every time you add a new turbine. I got one of these for B.C. last year and they just can’t get enough of it.”
Reaching the front of the line, Trudeau pulled out his Government of Canada line of credit, negotiated a $100-million dollar rebate, and settled up – adding over his shoulder to the other shoppers that the gift would pay for itself in a just a few years.
“And it’s as clean as the Athabasca River system used to be, before the whole oilsands thing.”
Accepting the receipt with a smile from the energy-efficient cashier, while humming along to the eco-friendly Christmas carol, “Do you care what I care?” Trudeau promptly filed the paper slip in a nearby recycling bin, and headed for the exit.
“We won’t be needing that, will we Bill?” he said enthusiastically to his shopping companion as the two headed out into a brisk headwind. “There’s no way this thing is coming back.”