Saying they were clearly left with no choice, Canada today took the unusual step of naming someone other than a foreign head of state as the official Responsible Person for their own government, bypassing the flamboyantly incapable Donald Trump to name the grimly parental Nancy Pelosi as the Honourable – And Only – Adult In The Room, when meeting with the POTUS and his hired retinue of enablers.
“For the first time in the modern era, we are faced with having to admit that a man with his finger on the nuclear button, really shouldn’t be allowed to choose his own dessert,” a Canadian spokesperson said, in a brief announcement delivered over the Parliament Hill PA system, in Ottawa.
The echoing statement went on to say that as the only bulwark between having to listen to President Trump give another Timeshares of The Union pitch, while his government remains cynically shuttered, the nation of Canada commended Ms. Pelosi for her childcare, and reminded her that it really wouldn’t be a bad thing if the mouthy one were to go missing.
The move comes after relations between Canada and the Trump administration have steadily frayed over the past two years, from the heady days of early 2017, when the Canadians only suspected the Republican leader was an inept fool, to now, where it is a verified fact. And for his part, President Trump has long suspected the Canadians know who took his BB gun, and just aren’t telling.
Reached for comment on a busy day in DC, Pelosi said that while the unexpected nod from a traditional American ally was welcome, she was quite certain that being named Adult In The Room over Mr. Trump was by far the lowest bar she had ever crossed.
“I also look forward to the Canadians naming me Only Person Who Tied Their Own Shoes At This Meeting, and Most Likely To Have Ever Made A Meal Themselves – Including Sandwiches.”