“It’s almost as if advanced computer modelling has the ability to warn us of imminent threats,” says Dr. Foch-Ensseireos, a climatologist who – like many of his colleagues – has spent his entire adult life creating advanced climate change models that warn of an imminent threat, and which have so far been largely ignored by most of the world’s leaders.
“Almost,” he repeats grimly, as around-the-clock coverage of a pandemic of unprecedented, but not unforeseen, proportions plays on a screen in the corner of his office.
As the world grapples with whether to follow the science on preventing the spread of the coronavirus, or just make shit up as we go along until millions of people who didn’t need to die right now go ahead and lay down their lives because we were too stupid, too lazy, or too fucking craven to act like a functioning fucking species and protect the fucking herd, climatologists say they aren’t surprised that so far we are seeing a great deal more of the latter response.
“If anyone knows what it’s like to provide clear direction on a massive approaching crisis, only to be told this isn’t a good time right now as everyone is in the middle of making large amounts of illusory money, it’s us,” says a team of climatologists from Britain’s Oxford University, speaking via video conference as they self-isolate in the middle of the UK’s hesitant response to the coronavirus.
“How hard is it to look at a projected curve on a chart and say ‘Hey, how about we don’t go up to the apogee of awful?'” asks an environmental studies graduate student who is using the coronavirus crisis to complete his thesis, entitled ‘Climate Change: Why Are We So Fucking Stupid?’
“The answer, whether you’re talking about lowering emissions to avoid the worst effects of man-created climate change, or enforcing early self-isolation measures to stop the spread of a pandemic, would appear to be that people suck. We remain an intransigent group of luddites who don’t believe in catastrophes until they happen to someone we have opened Christmas presents with. As such, we remain more closely related to cavemen than the interstellar future-sapiens we try to pass ourselves off as.”
While they say they take no joy in watching those who ignored the science on climate change being visited with immediate consequences for ignoring the science on coronavirus, the climatologists were unanimous in declaring they felt that this should be taken as a warning.
“Change is a lot like a city bus. If you pay attention, you can catch it. If you don’t, you’re just as likely to get run over.”