The Out And Abouter

– Satire, Commentary, Satirical Commentary –

Saturday, April 17th, 2021|
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Birds Across Canada Fly In Missing Man Formation, Following The Downing Of A Snowbird

By Paul Duncan on May 18, 2020 • ( 13 Comments )

As Canadians attempted to process the horrible news that one of the Snowbird planes had crashed over Kamloops, birds across the nation were seen engaging in an unusual flying formation. One in […]

Solar Power Holds Rock Steady At $000,000,000.00 Per Barrel

By Paul Duncan on April 22, 2020 • ( 15 Comments )

Carrying on a trend that started 4.6 billion years ago, and is expected to endure for at least another 20 billion fiscal quarters, the energy blasting towards Earth in an unbroken stream from […]

World Smashes Record For Most People Working Together Towards A Common Goal

By Paul Duncan on April 17, 2020 • ( 9 Comments )

Even as the number of people who have contracted the coronavirus passed the 2 million mark yesterday, a new figure of tribulation emerged amongst the grim flood of trials the world is […]

Prime Meridian Spotted Over London For First Time In A Century

By Paul Duncan on April 15, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

It’s been 170 years since the British discovered the prime meridian (starting point of all lines of longitude on Earth) conveniently located over their capital city, but no one currently alive has […]

Reached For Comment, Coronavirus Says It’s Also Very In Favour Of Reopening The Economy Immediately

By Paul Duncan on April 15, 2020 • ( 18 Comments )

As calls in many nations grow to reopen the economy as quickly as possible – curves, consequences, and transmission rates be damned – support for the initiative has come from a not-unexpected […]

In Latest Sign Nature Is Healing, Streakers Spotted Returning To World’s Stadiums

By Paul Duncan on April 13, 2020 • ( 3 Comments )

As dragons continue to return to England, Zambonis to the frozen lakes of Canada, and wild toy poodles to the streets of Los Angeles, another sign has emerged that while humans quarantine, […]

Experts Agree Long Weekend Just A Fucking Insult At This Stage

By Paul Duncan on April 9, 2020 • ( 4 Comments )

Global holiday experts, known as “the employed” in most countries, have today agreed that the timing of this year’s Easter weekend “is a direct and pointed insult to anyone who has in […]

WHO Recommends Everyone Stop All Non-Essential Worrying For At Least Two Weeks

By Paul Duncan on April 9, 2020 • ( 5 Comments )

In new guidance released today, WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus took the unusual step of telling the anxious residents of planet Earth to limit their many apprehensions and concerns to only those that […]

Zoo Animals Ask Humans How They Like Being Isolated In Tiny Habitats With Minimal Exercise

By Paul Duncan on April 7, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

Zoo animals have collectively confessed they are finding it difficult to sympathize with the current plight of many humans, as their bipedal captors attempt to mitigate the effects of a global pandemic […]

Area Man Says He’s Not Anti-Science, He’s Anti-Personal-Inconvenience-To-Save-Millions-Of-Lives

By Paul Duncan on April 7, 2020 • ( 1 Comment )

Saying he understands the numbers just fine, local resident Reggie Lackson confirmed that the problem he has with “all this social distancing,” isn’t related to an inability to comprehend the science behind […]

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