The Out And Abouter

– Satire, Commentary, Satirical Commentary –

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Letting Go Of His Anger, Coffee Cup Left On Roof Of Car Makes Peace With Cruel World

By Paul Duncan on February 1, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

“No no no no no no no,” a coffee cup in Markham, Ontario said in growing desperation early this morning, as the man who had just purchased him and his contents of […]

Surrounded By Thousands Of Likelier Ways To Die, Odd Species Arbitrarily Focuses On One

By Paul Duncan on January 30, 2020 • ( 7 Comments )

A man strolls across a busy street in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. A large truck bears down on him, but the man doesn’t notice, engrossed as he is in his phone, and reading […]

Panic Grips World’s Wealthy After Cases Of Income Inequality Becoming Airborne Are Reported

By Paul Duncan on January 26, 2020 • ( Leave a comment )

Even as the world grapples to contain the coronavirus, a new, far greater threat to the established order has emerged. One which could cause the greatest upheaval in human history: Communicable inequality.  […]

Politician’s Family Crushed To Learn He Plans To Spend More Time With Them

By Paul Duncan on January 24, 2020 • ( 2 Comments )

Despite having just convinced more than 30,000 relative strangers to vote for him in the last election, through a combination of fear-mongering, bribery, and empty promises to return them to a time […]

Canada Teeters On Brink Of Dissolution After Trudeau Orders A Pizza

By Paul Duncan on January 22, 2020 • ( 7 Comments )

***The following article contains graphic descriptions of government officials purchasing food. Reader discretion is advised.***  In what many are already calling the darkest moment in Canadian history, late last night Prime Minister […]

Gun Rights Protests In Virginia Cancelled Due To Conflict With Rambo Movie Marathon

By Paul Duncan on January 20, 2020 • ( 1 Comment )

A group known as The Really True Patriots Who Are Way More Patrioter Than You’ll Ever Be Look It Says So Right On My Shirt, have been forced to cancel their plans […]

Boatload Of Australian Climate Refugees Spotted Off Sri Lankan Coast

By Paul Duncan on January 15, 2020 • ( 5 Comments )

  Displaced by massive forest fires that have burned barren swathes across their tinder-dry nation, a vessel carrying more than 200 Australian climate refugees has reportedly entered Sri Lankan waters, hoping to […]

Peace Talks Break Down After Both Sides Fail To See How They’ll Make Any Money Off Of It

By Paul Duncan on January 13, 2020 • ( 6 Comments )

High level peace talks between the wealthy representatives of two countries’ military-industrial complexes broke down today, after it became evident that there would be no immediate way to monetize the process for […]

Canada Declares Peace

By Paul Duncan on January 10, 2020 • ( 27 Comments )

Normally you would find a satirical article here. In this case, it would attempt to skewer the fetishization of war so banally common in the world today – and which this week […]

World Still Waiting For Trump’s Preemptive Strike Against Climate Change

By Paul Duncan on January 9, 2020 • ( 3 Comments )

“Or even just emptive action, that would be fine too,” says Ty Misrun-Inought, just one of the 8 out of every 10 Americans who agree that human activity is fuelling climate change. […]

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